Blog Post

What is your authentic destination in Life? - Personal Development

David Adabale • Dec 28, 2017

There is no point rushing up a ladder only to discover that its leaning on the wrong wall.

An authentic destination is a goal, dream or vision that is consistent to and represents your core values and the very essence of your being.


  • Look at your authentic destination in 2 context – This year and your life in general
  • Funeral test


A simple exercise that can help you identify and clarify your authentic destination is what I call ‘The Funeral Test’.


The Funeral Test

A word of caution, don’t get caught up in the funeral setting of this exercise, it is simply an exercise to discover what matters to you and values that are core to your being, it doesn’t mean that you are planning to die.

It is a Friday afternoon, around 2pm; it is normally the time you start winding down from the demands of your week day commitments and looking forward to your anticipated weekend, but today is different. You are driving to an appointment. You got to the next traffic light, the light was red and you stopped, it changed to amber, then green and you continued.

You proceeded through the next set of traffic lights and shortly afterwards, turned right into a church yard. You parked your car, and quickly made your way to the entrance of the church hall because the service is about to start.

You entered; the organ in the hall was playing a solemn tune. There is a casket right at the other end of the hall – you are at a loved one’s funeral. You could see familiar faces of some friends and relatives. You wanted to sit right at the back because you came late but something inside you nudged you to go further to the front.

Eventually you moved closer to the casket and it happened to have a ‘two-tiered’ cover, the top half is opened and you could see the face of the person in it – it is you. You are quite shocked and couldn’t believe what was happening until you looked at the program booklet in your hand, it has your picture in front of it and your name – it is your funeral, 3 years from this date.

As you take a seat, the vicar starts the service by welcoming everyone and ran through the order of service, which included tributes about you from:


  • Your spouse (if you are or plan to be married within the next 3 years)
  • Your children (if you have any or plan to have within the next 3 years)
  • Your nieces and nephews
  • Parents, siblings & Extended family
  • Your in-laws
  • Your friends
  • A work colleague
  • Distant friends (your neighbours, social/sports club, place of worship)
  • Online Friends (people that connect with you on facebook, twitter, virtual world etc)

Now think deeply. What would you like each of these speakers to say about you and your life? What character would you like them to have seen in you? What contributions, what achievements would you want them to remember? Look carefully at the people around you – your parents, siblings, spouse, in-laws, nieces, nephews. What difference would you like to have made in their lives? Write the answer to these questions and keep it safely; we will refer to it later.

Tips for making the most of your funeral test

  1. Be specific
  2. Give it a timeframe – 3 to 5 years
  3. Don’t forget the purpose for the test
  4. Progression towards authentic destination

The way forward


  • The funeral test does drive the point of our ‘authentic destination’ home, doesn’t it? Remember, we don’t have forever. This gives a strong case for us to be intentional, proactive and strategic about the way we live our lives.

What to do with your funeral test

  1. List every item in the funeral test
  2. List top 3 goals or top 3 pressing needs (e.g. unemployment, accommodation, health, stress).
  3. Categorise our priorities -

God (faith)

  • Maker
  • Assignment
  • Eternity / reward

Self

  • Mind
  • Body – Health (fitness & Diet)
  • Appearance – The packaging

Family

  • Spouse
  • Children -
  • Home - environment

Ministry / Service

  • Extended family
  • Christian friends
  • None Christian

Finances

  • Livelihood (primary income – shelter, clothing, feeding)
  • Savings
  • Investments

Work

  • Projects – specific start date and finish date
  • Systems & People – continuous assignment / task
  • Results – deliverables, contractual obligation

Think about your life as a house with 6 rooms - This leads to order. Look at your typical week. And use the context of rock time and fluid time

There must be a place for everything and everything must be in a place.

Read more about - The Law of Order

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I have finally decided to take the plunge and add a blog to my site. I always wanted an easy way to share information with visitors and I'm super excited to start this journey. Keep coming back to my site and check for updates right here on the blog.
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